A mirror reflects who you see, and it can give the impression that you can see who you really are. But it is no coincidence that every culture has a saying for the idea that we are the product of the best of our friends. And that is something no mirror can show.

When we are the best of our friends, that is different for each of us, simply because our friends are different. And even if we share a lot of friends, we will still find different qualities in the people around us. When we think of ourselves as having good qualities, we should always reflect: who showed me how to be like this? When we answer this question, we recognise the good in each other.

If our friends shape us, and we shape them, then it is entirely logical that we shape each other into better people. Into people who can take care of us. In other words, when you teach somebody your language, you teach them how to talk to you in your own way. You teach people how to be with you, and vice versa.

A friend is, with all these qualities, the original safe space: a refuge from hatred, bigotry, insecurity, and a safety net when you fall. Family is the web you are born in: your friends are the first web you make yourself. Every now and then, when you think about your friends and how and why they made you better, tell them. It reminds them that it was worth making you.